


Pale Horse

by Duck_Life



Category: New Mutants, X-Men (Comicverse)
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Child Death, Friendship, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Illnesses, Loss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-14
Updated: 2019-01-14
Packaged: 2019-10-09 19:24:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,663
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17412791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Duck_Life/pseuds/Duck_Life
Summary: Dani battles Death in a last-ditch effort to save Illyana from the Legacy Virus. Sort of an alternate take on Uncanny X-Men #303.





	Pale Horse

> _ “And if I had a way to reach the sky, I’d grab that crescent moon and I’d wield it like a knife and save you from your lies, and the ropes that bind you, and the role you play.” _
> 
> _ \- Buffy Saint-Marie, “The Big Ones Get Away” _
> 
>  
> 
> _ “And I heard a voice in the midst of the four beasts. And I looked, and behold a pale horse, and his name that sat on him was Death, and hell followed with him.” _
> 
> __ \- Johnny Cash, “The Man Comes Around” _ _

 

 

You can beat death but you can't cheat death. Nobody knows that better than Dani Moonstar. Illyana may have gotten a second chance at life, but all that second chance did was turn around and bite her.

Now, Dani ghosts through the halls of her old school, a place she once called home. It’s not long before she runs into Kitty Pryde, visiting from Britain. “Oh… hey,” she says, suddenly feeling like she’s been caught even though she wasn’t doing anything. 

It’s not like Kitty knows about her undercover work in the MLF. 

“Hey,” Kitty says. Now that she gets a closer look, Dani can see gray circles beneath Kitty’s eyes, a weight on her shoulders. No one’s taking Illyana’s illness well, but Kitty’s clearly taking it hardest of anyone, aside from maybe Piotr. “Haven’t seen you in ages. How’re things since you left the New Mutants?”

Dani offers kind of a fake smile, but then thinks better of it, letting the mask slide from her face. “Not good,” she admits. 

“Yeah,” Kitty says, running a hand through her wild tangle of curls. “Yeah, I figured.”

“I’m surprised you’re not on the blue or gold team,” Dani says, grasping wildly for something to talk about besides Illyana slowly dying. “After all those years reminding us that  _ you _ were an  _ X-Man _ and how that made you  _ so  _ much cooler than us.” 

She means it as a joke, but Kitty looks upset. “I didn't come here to fight,” Kitty says. 

“Yeah, well, I did,” Dani says, but then her voice softens. “But— I didn't come here to fight with  _ you _ .” Kitty doesn’t question the statement, too caught up in her own grief and stress to wonder at it. 

They talk for a couple more minutes, rambling about anything and everything to avoid the subject of Illyana, and then Kitty says she has to go find Jean, leaving Dani alone in the hallway. 

She walks until she reaches the infirmary, but can’t bring herself to go in. Through the open door, she can see Jubilation Lee keeping the sick little girl company, playing with Illyana’s old Bamf doll, making him talk and jump around. 

Dani still remembers the day ’Berto found out Illyana still slept with a stuffed animal and tried to tease her for it. Illyana had dropped him into Limbo without even looking up from her book. Nobody teased her about the Bamf again after that. 

This Illyana, the little girl in the infirmary bed, smiles and chatters in excited Russian to Jubilee. Her eyes are light and lively, but that doesn’t hide the pallor of her skin, or the fact that she’s hooked up to half a dozen machines. 

She’s dying, and it’s going to happen soon. That’s what drew Dani back to the mansion anyway. She can see the shadow hovering over Illyana’s cot, ready to pounce. 

“Alright,” she whispers, clenching her fists. “I’m ready for you."

* * *

When Death finally shows up, he looks like Stryfe, all armored-up and wearing that ridiculous helmet. That’s the only good thing about the Mutant Liberation Front now, Dani thinks, that Stryfe isn’t leading it anymore.

Then again, maybe if he was still around, the Legacy Virus wouldn’t exist in the first place. 

It’s clear that’s why this is the form Death chose to face her. Stryfe left the Legacy Virus behind, and now it’s eating away at Illyana Rasputin’s young life. “I’ve fought you before. And won,” Dani says, keeping her voice even. “I’ll win again.”

“We’ll see,” Stryfe says, and he draws his blade.

Dani looks down at her hand, not surprised this time to see an identical blade materialize in her grip. “Alright, reaper. Let’s dance.”

They’re evenly matched at first, the blades clanging together as Dani parries every attack that comes at her. She tires before Stryfe does, though, and he starts to get the upper hand. “Why do you struggle?” he asks. “If the girl lives, Belasco will only come for her again. Rather than save her life, you could save her  _ soul _ .”

“There was nothing wrong with her soul,” Dani spits, letting her anger power her next blow. “She was a good person. I’ll make sure she lives to be one again.” 

Stryfe’s blade gets too close; she leaps backward to avoid injury. “Or she’ll live in agony,” he says. “Letting her die would be merciful. Why do you resist?”

Dani surges forward, brandishing her blade. “Peter’s already lost so much,” she says, her blade striking Stryfe’s. “And Kitty… Kitty needs her.”

“You act as if they are the ones who cannot say goodbye,” Stryfe says, countering her move. “You know the truth, Dani Moonstar.” Dani grunts and swings her sword, clanging against Stryfe’s armor. “You lost your friend long ago. You simply refuse to say goodbye.”

“Shut up,” Dani says. With her next move, her blade cleaves through the chink in Stryfe’s armor, and his form disintegrates, leaving her with the taste of metal and ash in her mouth. “I win,” Dani says fiercely, panting hard, doubled over. The fight is done. She did what she came here to do. “ _ I win _ ,” she repeats, if Death is listening. 

She is shaken from her concentration by the sound of little ’Yana coughing. “Illyana?” Dani calls, standing up, walking out of the hallway and back into the infirmary. Illyana clutches her Bamf doll and coughs harder, the sound awful and pathetic. “Hey, kiddo. Are you okay?”

Illyana calms, her breathing becoming more regular, and she says something in Russian that Dani doesn’t catch. When they were friends, when Illyana was  _ Illyana _ , she really only taught Dani the curse words. 

“Uh,” Dani mumbles, trying to figure out how to talk to this little girl, this person she used to be able to tell everything to. She holds out her hand in an OK symbol. “You okay?”

Illyana looks at her, blue eyes big and sad, and she shakes her head. Then she says something else in Russian, something Dani can’t understand. 

“She says her chest hurts,” Kitty translates, showing up in the doorway behind Dani. “Hank’s been giving her Tylenol, I’m gonna go see if it’s alright to give her some more.” She turns to go track down Beast, leaving Dani alone with the girl she supposedly just saved from death. 

Dani sits in the rickety chair next to Illyana’s cot and tries not to think about her once-friend Pat Roberts. She battled Death to save him, back in Colorado, and all it did was land him in a diabetic coma from which he would never awaken. And she had to give him up. 

Illyana coughs a little more, then quiets again, still clinging to the Bamf doll. There’s nothing Dani can say, truly nothing. The language barrier may be one of the smallest barriers between her and her former friend, but it looms large. She finds herself thinking wildly,  _ if Doug were here… _ and the aching loss she’s been through already in her life threatens to overwhelm her. 

She may have been able to stop Death, but she can’t stop the Legacy Virus. What happens now? This little girl, one who doesn’t know anything about the New Mutants or Limbo or the Hellions or the Shadow King or sorcery, is going to suffer. This little girl, she has to remind herself, isn’t the person she fought beside for years. This little girl has never saved the world or traveled through time or kept demons for pets. 

This little girl is in pain. 

And Dani is standing in the way of whatever relief or reprieve is in store for her. 

It all hits her. Not just Illyana’s loss, but Doug and Warlock’s, too, and the dissolution of her team and the distance between her and her friends. Dani sobs into her hands, angry at the world, angry at herself.

She only pauses when she feels a tiny, cold hand on her arm, and she looks up into little Illyana’s eyes. The girl doesn’t know any English. She holds up her little hand in an OK symbol, tilting her head. 

For just a second, Dani considers lying to her, because that’s what you do, you tell little kids that you’re okay and everything’s fine. But then she just shakes her head, still crying. “No, kiddo, I’m not okay,” she confesses, knowing Illyana can’t understand her. “I’m sorry. I gotta let you go. I’m so sorry.”

* * *

Dani’s back in the hallway, listening to Jubilee read to Illyana. She feels the old woman approach her before she turns to look. “They, um,” she says, swallows. “Moira and the Prof were arguing, earlier, about… apparently, they can do something to maintain the kid’s… ‘genetic integrity,’ but she’d be comatose.” She doesn’t say,  _ Just like Pat _ , knows the old woman knows anyway. “Kitty’s ready to… to say goodbye. So I guess I am too.”

And the old woman surprises her by taking her hand, and it doesn’t feel cold. It feels warm, kind even. The entity she fought, brutally, just hours ago, holds her hand while they both look in on the sick little girl. 

“You can take her,” Dani relents, bowing her head. “She’s yours.”

They’ve taken Illyana off the monitors and machines, so there’s no flatlining or beeping, not like with Pat. But Dani knows when it happens, because Death fades. Somehow, Jubilee and Kitty know too, because Jubilee stops reading and Kitty startles awake. 

“Bye, ’Yana,” Dani whispers. 


End file.
